Dear Olivia,

Daddy has been gone for about a week and a half now, and I’ve only had you back from Nanny’s house since last Saturday, but things are alright for us at the moment.

You’ve been clingier than usual, which is understandable, and you’re testing boundaries a lot more because it’s only me you’re up against. You’ve always been a handful for me anyway but now it’s even more so with nobody to help calm your terrible tantrums. But despite all of that, we’re doing okay.

You’ve enjoyed being back with your childminder this week and seeing your friends, and you were even fine with Auntie Jess when she came to stay for a couple of days. Normally, any person you’re not used to in the house gets an earful of screeching and resistance from you, but you were very happy to see her this time!

We are still nowhere near having a bedtime routine, however, and I do not have the energy to try with any real oomph to actually get you back into one. You seem to have an incredibly resilient personality (a bit like both me and Daddy I suppose), so I don’t think that your poor sleeping habits are to do with him being away. I think you’re just a normal kid who doesn’t like bedtime, even when you’re overtired! The trouble is that when I lay in bed with you to pretend I’m going to sleep too, there’s a real risk that I actually will fall asleep at 7pm!

Today hasn’t been a great day for me, and your overtiredness from, what I can only assume is, a missed afternoon nap has driven me around the bend more than it would do on a normal day. We’re both still adjusting and finding our own ways to cope with this big change for the next few months, but we will get there. Soon it will be two weeks down, and they’ll continue to pass us by rather quickly. Much like when you were first born, we just need to find our groove again.

I haven’t secured Pupillage yet either my darling, and obviously I’m devastated that I have to go through the whole process again next year, but at the same time I’m excited to just have some time with you. I have my part time job for the time being, and I’m going to use it over the next few months to have some time at home while I find a full time job to aid my future legal career. For the first time I’m feeling optimistic about the uncertainty! It’s a step forward for me and I can only imagine how much fun we will have together and how much our bond will grow.

I’ve been pretty busy trying to plan your birthday party recently too! Your best friend Mary will be coming and you’ll have lots of family and friends there too. I’m so excited as you’ll understand a bit more this year, and I won’t have to travel to Southampton for an exam the day after either this year!

The future seems bright my little love, and I can’t wait to see what it holds in store.

Xxx