Dear Olivia,

Since Daddy left us almost 3 months ago (I know! That means not long left until he’s back home!), you’ve understandably had a bit of separation anxiety.

It’s a normal thing, all babies and toddlers will experience it at some point or another, because as much as we want to be there for you 24/7, we just can’t be. Whether we’re working or just need a cup of tea with a friend without a baby around for once, we’ll all inevitably leave our babies in the care of someone else, family or friend or nursery, at one point or another.

What I should have done is made it easier on you. I think, the truth is, I’ve been struggling too. As much as you needed and wanted me to come inside with you in the mornings when I dropped you off, I needed and wanted to as well. It’s been nearly 3 months of me mollycoddling you at the door, coming inside to settle you down and trying to leave without seeing your sad little face as I did go. It was selfish, especially as you’d been so amazingly independent beforehand, and I sort of messed that up.

So now we have to start again, but it’s easier this time. The first day you really screamed and I felt like the most awful human on the planet. The second day you didn’t scream but the look on your face made me feel like I’d betrayed you. The third day there were no tears or tantrums at all. The fourth day there were a few tears. Then today, you took your bag, and after a big cuddle and kiss you walked in by yourself.

I am so relieved. So happy that you’re back to your normal, thriving self. So relieved that our morning drop offs won’t have to stay in my mind all day every day, despite me receiving a text message seconds after I close that door to say that you’re fine.

The drop offs are the hardest part of my day, and together we’ve made them a little bit easier.

I know it’s hard to adjust to everything, and Olivia, you have done so well at taking everything in your stride and never failing to be your usually excitable self.

Before too long things will all be back to normal, but for now, each day that you are growing and changing, I’ve realised that I’m growing, too.